Everyone knows it's bad luck to sail on a boat with no name. And that might be why there are so many great boat names out there. If you've ever rented a yacht or sat out on the beach and seen a passing vessel, you've likely stumbled across a hilarious name or two yourself. And if you haven't, worry not - we've searched for the most creative names out there and compiled them in this list. So anchor yourself to your seat and keep scrolling for some splashing laughs.
Everyone Needs Some Alone Time Every Now And Then
When looking at boat names, you can bet there are going to be a couple of constants: names about water, names about fishing, and names about getting some alone time. This name falls into that latter category, but it's pretty brave to name your yacht "Aweigh from Wife" when presumably, the wife has seen the boat before. We're guessing both the wife and the husband are probably pretty fun, and she probably okayed it before the paint went on.
Having a name like that on the back of your private yacht also signals to others out there that you're married, so it does have an upside, we suppose.
Best Not To Poke The Bear
There are some things in life that are just guaranteed, and one of those things is that you're going to have to pay taxes. And if you try and evade paying taxes, Uncle Sam has plenty of ways of collecting what's due. Still, this boat name is pretty hilarious, even more so since we're pretty sure whoever owns this isn't doing any "Tax Sea-vation." They're probably only baiting the IRS. Otherwise, they probably wouldn't name their boat that.
Or would they? Maybe it's actually the perfect name for a boat you're using to evade taxes. It's kind of like hiding yourself or something in plain sight.
Let's Hope Nobody Ever Has To See This Name Upright
Obviously, the owner of this boat is the kind of person that likes to plan ahead. However, we'd probably refrain from putting our boat's name upside down for the Coast Guard to read when they came to our aid. We'd also probably not give it a name like "Uh-oh!" However, at least this owner gave their boat a name and didn't leave it bare; we suppose that counts for something.
After all, what's worse luck, naming your boat in preparation for a disaster or not naming your boat at all? We'd probably have to say the latter.
Two Of This Boat Owner's Favorite Things
This boat owner managed to combine two of their favorite things into this clever name. They named their boat "Breaking Bass" after the extremely popular television show "Breaking Bad." It's kind of hard to make out exactly what kind of boat this is, but we're guessing it's probably a bass boat, and the owner probably does quite a bit of fishing. They even added the same decals as the show had.
"BA" is also really number 56, although it stands for barium and not bass, presumably, but hey, it's still really cool that they added in the details like that.
Someone Call IT Support
Whoever owns this boat must also work in IT. If not, then they just happen to be pun experts because this name is golden. Someone named their boat after the 404 error you can sometimes receive when trying to load a webpage. Except, they added "Fish Not Found," and honestly, both of these things evoke the same feeling. Not finding fish is just as frustrating as a webpage not loading correctly.
However, one can be fixed with luck, and the other takes a bit of technical know-how to finally get working. But besides that, they're actually both just as frustrating.
These Might Just Both Belong To Tom Cruise
What are the odds of two boats at the same marina, both having names that are related to movie star Tom Cruise? We say pretty unlikely, which is why we wouldn't be surprised if these actually belonged to the actor. Yes, it would be a little strange to name a boat after yourself, but Tom Cruise is kind of a strange guy, and it doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility that these boats could be his.
Then again, maybe this was coordinated, and both boat owners thought that it would be really cool to name their yachts "Tom Cruise" and "Top Gunn." We have to admit the latter name is pretty cool, and it would make for a good fishing boat name.
These Two Definitely Belong to Brothers
This is the perfect pair of boats if you just happen to be a pair of billionaire twins. These are two really nice boats, one of which is named "Wood Too" and the other is named "Wood Not." Presumably, there's wood on both of these boats, and one of them might even be made out of wood, which would make it extremely expensive and luxurious. Even the boat bay in this photo looks fancy.
These would be the perfect vessels to take on a boat vacation or just to take out cruising on the lake or river. Just imagine pulling up to a dock party in one of these bad boys.
This Boat Owner Might Just Be A Genius
We're not saying it will ever happen, but if zombies somehow did start showing up, is there really a better place you could be than out on the open ocean? We doubt it. And while we know you'll probably never have to worry about something like that happening, we still think buying a boat is a better anti-zombie investment than spending a bunch of money on a bunker and supplies. You'd just need to store plenty of bait for fishing.
We're also sure this name gets a lot of laughs from other boaters out on the water or people just walking along the marina enjoying their day.
That's All It Ever Does
Nothing says you're a yacht owner who likes to party but also gets a bit philosophical from time to time, like naming your boat this. A big reason most people own boats is so that they can go cruising or fishing and just take their minds off of any problems they might have on dry land. So, you want to name your boat something that relates to those goals.
And honestly, there's probably no better name for a boat than the name in this photo if you're looking to just get away when you take your boat or a private yacht rental out.
This Has To Be In Miami
Unfortunately, there's no port name on the back of this boat, so we can't say for certain. However, this does look like the type of boat name you'd only see in Miami. It also looks a bit like a Coast Guard magnet. Seriously, we wonder how many times the driver of this boat has been pulled over while taking it out for a quick ride. It has to be a lot.
This boat looks fast, but the Coast Guard's boats are usually a lot faster. We're also sure they weren't laughing when they first saw the name on the back of this private boat.
You Can't Take It With You When You Go
We're sure that the kids weren't too happy with this purchase, but the parents might as well spend their money on whatever they want while they can. And if you're going to spend the kids' inheritance on a boat, you might as well just go ahead and name it that as well. This boat, or private yacht, if you want to call it that, looks like it cost a small fortune.
And the money could be wrapped up in worse things than a boat, especially a large boat. These things can get pretty pricey, and this boat looks like it's no exception.
Diversifying The Portfolio
In financial terms, liquid assets refer to bonds, cash, and other investments that easily convert to cash. We wouldn't exactly put a boat into that category, but whoever owns this yacht probably would. They named their boat "Liquid Asset," and you can bet that with a boat that size, they have plenty of other assets in their portfolio. This is the type of boat we think about when we think about private and rental yachts. This probably isn't even the most expensive thing they own.
That said, it's also just a clever little nautical pun since boats sit in water and water is a liquid, and you probably get the idea by now.
Does the Dog Come With the Boat?
We should just stop the list right here because there isn't a better name for a boat out there than "Sea Wiener." You can keep your boats named after mythical creatures, your humorous puns, and boats named after historical phrases. We'd rather take a boat named Sea Wiener. Not only that, but this boat even comes with its own mascot, who's sitting there looking pretty majestic, like he's about to rescue someone that's drowning or something.
As far as boat names go, this is probably a first. We've seen boats that were named after pets and baits, but never a boat that was named Sea Weiner before.
A Boat That Says, "mind Your Own Business"
Yes, that is another nautical pun we used as the title of this photo, and no, it's probably not going to be the last one. It's just too easy. Also, the boat in this photo has a great name. The owner named their boat "Water U Lookin' At," and while it probably isn't going to make them a whole lot of friends out on the lake or ocean, it's still pretty clever.
If someone is close enough to actually read it while boating in the ocean, they're probably a bit too close anyway, and they should maybe back up a bit.
At Least This One Isn't A Secret
There's a tradition of giving boats female names. Those are usually names like Traceylyn, Teresita, or Mary Beth, or in other words; it's not uncommon for a captain or boat owner to name their boat after a wife or daughter. That is not what this boat owner did. In fact, he named his boat "The Other Woman." There's also a long tradition of boat owners referring to their boats as their "other" women.
But we've never seen an owner that's brave enough to just go ahead and make it their boat's name. We guess that at least they're honest with their wife.
Out On The Water With The Bouys
Here's another pretty clever nautical pun for all of the fans out there, and if you've stuck around this long, then you must be a fan. Someone named their boat "Yeah Bouy," which sounds like the perfect name for a party boat or rental yacht. This one is somewhere in Wisconsin, so it could be on the Great Lakes, a normal lake, or a river. Wherever it is, we're sure the owner is having some fun on it.
It also sort of looks like it might be a sailboat, which would make it even cooler. Knowing how to sail a boat is just an added cool factor.
They Should Probably Start to Worry
We really don't have any problems with this name, and we'd still happily name a boat "No Worries" even after seeing this one go down. The main purpose of a leisure boat is to evoke exactly what's on the side of this vessel: no worries. So, while the placement and the actual sinking might be a little unfortunate here, we still think this is a perfectly acceptable name for a boat.
Now, is it a little ironic? Oh yeah, this boat's name is most definitely ironic, and we're glad someone managed to snap a photo at just the right moment here.
We Hope This Boat's Name Is True
There are a couple of boats' names that reference someone's significant other on this list, and not all of them are flattering. Here's another one, but we really hope this name was just purely a joke and nothing more. Luckily, this boat or yacht looks to be large enough to actually sleep on or make into a rental boat, which the owner might be doing quite a bit if the wife doesn't eventually "get over it."
That said, we're sure this name was just a joke because we couldn't imagine anyone actually spending that much money without first having a conversation about it with their significant other.
The Stuff Of Fantasies
For many, the dream is to be in a place financially where you're able to own a boat. And certainly, that's what this boat owner's dream was, and they eventually achieved it. As such, they named their boat "The Wet Dream" because vessels operate in the water, which is wet. Anyway, we hope this owner gets to operate their boat as much as they can and takes plenty of vacations on their little private yacht now that they've finally achieved their dream.
We also hope that when others see the name of this boat, they realize that the owner finally achieved their goal of owning and operating "The Wet Dream."
Because This Boat Is Built Like A Bull
The owner of this yacht must really have it made. Not only do they have a huge boat that you could throw some pretty awesome yacht parties on, but they obviously don't put up with anything. We know that because of the name of their boat. We also imagine that if you're rich enough to be able to own a private yacht this size, then you probably have to be the type of person not to put up with... stuff.
That said, we've seen better puns, any of which are on this list. But this one earns a special place purely for how nice this yacht is.
Ever Seen a One-Man Boat?
We figured we'd take a small break from all of the nautical puns and focus on a pun that's related to something else. This guy named their boat "50 Shades of Me," which is a reference to the popular book series "50 Shades of Grey." And while you might imagine something like a private yacht, when you imagine the main protagonist of that book, this boat isn't that bad looking.
It's a bit different than a yacht, but it's still a boat, and we're sure you can still do cool boat things on it, like throw a (small) party, go fishing, or bait a hook.
Here's One For All The Spanish Speakers Out There
What's better than a simple nautical pun? A nautical pun that's combined with Spanish to make a double pun. We're not sure what you'd call that, but this boat, named "Sea Señor," is pretty funny. It looks like it's backed up to a dock that's covered in astroturf for some reason, but besides that, it's not a bad-looking little boat. It looks like the perfect boat to take on vacation and do some sandbar hopping.
With a name like that, the owners are probably a hoot, too. You can bet that this boat has hosted many a boat party and probably been on plenty of boat vacations.
Someone Has A Problem...
This a pretty cool name for a boat. Unlike some of the others on here that might make the Coast Guard pull you over, this one would probably just elicit a chuckle. Someone named their boat "Aquaholic," as in they're addicted to the water. And with a boat or yacht like this, we'd probably be addicted too. You could take this thing out on multi-day fishing trips with plenty of storage for bait, and you'd be perfectly fine.
This would also be a great boat to just take around island hopping since it looks like it has plenty of space for provisions if you did want to take a decently long voyage.
This Guy Is For-Reel This Time
What's better than officially being retired? Officially being retired and owning a really nice fishing boat. Someone obviously put in a lot of work to make it to the point where they can afford such a nice boat and name it whatever they like. This owner aptly named their boat "Reel-ly Retired," using the spelling for a fishing reel. We're not sure who this person is, but they seem like fun people.
We hope they get as much time to fish on this boat as they want because we're sure they deserve it after a long career doing who knows what.
They Say It's Bad Luck To Rename A Boat
Someone decided to change their fishing or bait boat name in this photo, and while we can't be certain, we think the covered letter is the letter "I." That'd make the boat's former name ISIS, which is a common Mardi Gras krewe name on the Gulfcoast. So, that might explain what the name used to be and why they wanted to disassociate themselves from it, considering it's now heavily linked with that one really horrible group.
Anyway, we think the new name, "OASIS" is great, even if it is spelled in all caps and written in two different colors to kind of obviously cover up the old name.
Not Even for the Right Price?
We really love this boat's name since it hits all the marks. And by that, we basically mean one mark, and that mark is whether or not the name is a nautical pun. This boat's name is "Knot for Sail." They actually doubled up and replaced two words here to make a very clear statement to anyone who might see this boat and ask the owner how much they want for it.
Still, this might present a little problem if they ever change their minds and decide to sell the boat for some extra cash. They'd probably have to hide the name to avoid any confusion.
The Last Thing A Boat Needs Is A Fraid Knot
We really like this boat's name because it works two ways. It could be a pun on "afraid not," or it could be a pun on "frayed knot." It's actually kind of genius, and we would've completely missed the second meaning if we'd not stared at it as long as we did. However, it also makes us wonder why the owner chose this specific and pun name for their boat.
They could be the type of person that just enjoys telling people "no." However, we like to think they're just the type of person who enjoys a good nautical pun and a warm-weather boat vacation.
It's Taken This Guy Years To Master His Craft
There are just some things that can take years for someone to master perfectly, and fishing and baiting are some of them. This guy obviously owns the commercial fishing vessel in this photo and was probably pretty good at baiting when they were working their way up. Hence, they named their boat after what they were good at. Jokes aside, this is a pretty clever name for a fishing boat.
Not only is it nautical, but it's hilarious. It's also really memorable, so if you were out working in the bay or open water and spotted this boat, you'd immediately recognize it and the master baiter who captain's it.
You Only Live Once
Boat names are kind of funny in that it's perfectly acceptable to spin a nautical pun when naming your boat. The same can't be said for most other things in life. For example, this boat name would make a horrible tattoo, (sorry if you have "you only live once" tattooed on you somewhere). However, it works great when it's painted on the side of a boat and not on someone's arm.
The only thing we love more than boat names that could also be bad tattoos are boat names that have something to do with fishing, boating, or taking off work.
Hungry On The High Seas
This boat name is actually a pretty clever play on the name of a classic British dish. We're sure you've figured it out by now, but if you haven't, the boat's name is a play on fish and chips (or fries for the Americans out there). However, the boat owner replaced chips with something else most boat owners go out seeking when they own a boat or a yacht.
The name itself is pretty clever, but it'd probably constantly make us crave fish and chips if we were a part of the crew or just tourists renting out the boat.
'Just Act Normal... Nothing To See Here'
It's no secret that many people's favorite pastime on a boat is to pop open a few cold ones and enjoy a day out on the water. So, it makes sense that someone would name their boat "Sotally Tober." However, it also kind of doesn't make sense because the last thing you want to do, and we're not advocating that anyone operate a marine vessel while under the influence, is to give the Coast Guard or marine police a reason to pull you over.
We're just saying, if we were in charge of policing an area of water, this would probably be one of the first boats we pull over for a "random" check.
A Captain And Musician
When you think of a boating captain, you don't usually think of someone who plays a trumpet. However, that's exactly what we have here, or at least a captain who really admires the trumpet. They named their boat "High C's" as is "High Seas" but also the musical tune. They even added a trumpet right above the name. And while we're pretty sure that brass instruments and saltwater don't mix well, it'd still be nice to hear some tunes while out on a boat or yacht.
In fact, the idea of a trumpet-playing captain sounds like a really cool premise for a movie. It would also make for a great combination if you were operating a boat rental company.
There's Nothing Better For You
While your body needs vitamin D from the sun to stay healthy, there's also nothing wrong with getting a little vitamin "sea" to keep your mind in order. We hear there's nothing better when it comes to relieving stress. And this boat owner probably thinks the same if they went through all the trouble of naming their boat "Vitamin Sea." This boat also looks like a cruiser or a pleasure boat.
When it comes to vitamin sea, you really can't get enough of it. Some might even call it a bit of an addiction, but that's neither here nor there.
This Name Might Have To Be Changed In The Future
The only reason we can think for this boat to be named "Kinda Mine" is if the person who bought it is still paying off the loan they took out. It's a funny name that pretty much sums up how most boat or homeowners feel, but it does beg one crucial question. Is the owner going to change the name when they finally manage to fully pay the boat off?
We hope not because renaming boats and private yachts are kind of bad luck, even if you're renaming it to better reflect that you've actually paid off the entirety of the boat. If all else fails they could also turn it into a rental boat and make some more cash to pay it off.
Another Clever Nautical Pun
If you wanted to, you could recategorize this list from being a list of boat names to being a list of nautical puns. We don't personally own any boats, but we imagine there's probably nothing funnier than naming a boat or private yacht. You can pretty much name it anything you want, and the more out there your name is, the better. For example, take a look at this boat's name.
Sure, it's stating the obvious, but it's also a clever use of the word "knot." It also just makes us want to get out on the water and rent a private yacht or take a boat vacation.
We're Kind Of Split On This Name
Here's another boat named using a pun. However, we're not so sure about this one. Of course, when you're out there sitting on a boat staring out into the open water or even out into a bay, the whole experience can be a bit hypnotic. However, the word hypnotic also just really makes us not want to fall asleep for some reason. Maybe we have a deep-seated fear of being hypnotized.
Either way, there is no denying that a boat named "Hypnautic" would make for a great party boat. Honestly, we couldn't picture a boat with a name like that being used as anything but a rental boat.
What's Wrong With The River?
We're pretty sure that this name is a play on the disease, cirrhosis of the liver, but that's about all we're sure of. There doesn't seem to be much of a connection beyond that, as we're not exactly sure you'd want a river to have a disease similar to cirrhosis of the liver. That said, they do get a couple of points for having a nice fishing boat and for their wordplay.
Still, we hope that the river is fine and nobody is riding around in this thing catching cirrhosis of the liver. Luckily, it's a small enough boat that the parties probably have to be kept pretty minimal.
When Your Creativity Has Been Stretched To The Limit
While many of the names on this list are pretty clever, we're just going to be straight up with this one. It's not that creative at all. However, that's part of its charm, we suppose. Someone named their boat "Harambe McBoatface." To be fair, you have to be pretty successful in life (or at making money) to be able to afford a boat like this, so we're sure this owner has some creativity.
They probably just decided that they liked the idea behind combining a couple of memes into one not-so-epic boat name. We're sure passersby on the dock liked the idea too.